You've probably noticed it. You look back at who you were ten years ago — maybe twenty years ago — and you think: That's not me anymore. I'm not that person. I've changed so much.
And then you wonder: How much have I actually changed? Is this just how I feel? Or have I actually changed? And if I've changed, how much? And will I keep changing?
Here's what the research actually shows: your character does change over time. Not dramatically. Not all at once. But it does change. And understanding how much you change — and why — is the key to understanding who you're becoming, not just who you were.
What the Research Actually Shows
Let me be precise, because understanding the research is the first step to understanding your own change.
Research in personality psychology shows that personality traits are relatively stable over time — but they're not fixed. They do change. Not dramatically. Not all at once. But they do change. And the research shows that most people change in predictable ways as they age.
Here's what the research shows:
- Conscientiousness tends to increase as you age. You become more organized, more reliable, more disciplined. Not because you're trying to change. Because you're maturing.
- Emotional stability tends to increase as you age. You become more emotionally stable, more resilient, more able to handle stress. Not because you're trying to change. Because you're maturing.
- Agreeableness tends to increase as you age. You become more compassionate, more forgiving, more cooperative. Not because you're trying to change. Because you're maturing.
- Openness tends to decrease as you age. You become less open to new experiences, less curious, less willing to try new things. Not because you're trying to change. Because you're maturing.
- Extraversion tends to decrease as you age. You become less outgoing, less socially engaged, less energetic. Not because you're trying to change. Because you're maturing.
And here's what most people miss: these changes are not random. They're predictable. And understanding these predictable changes — understanding how you're likely to change — is the key to understanding who you're becoming.
Pause and Reflect: Think about who you were ten years ago. How have you changed? Are you more conscientious? More emotionally stable? More agreeable? Less open? Less extraverted? If you've changed in these ways, that's normal. That's maturation. And understanding that — understanding that you're maturing — is the key to understanding who you're becoming.
Why Your Character Changes Every Decade
Here's why your character changes every decade — and why it matters.
Your character changes because you're maturing. Because you're gaining experience. Because you're learning. And that maturation — that gaining of experience — changes you. Not because you're trying to change. Because you're maturing.
And here's what most people miss: this maturation is not random. It's predictable. And understanding this maturation — understanding how you're likely to change — is the key to understanding who you're becoming. Not just who you were.
The Personality Types Who Change Most (And Least)
Your personality shapes how much you change every decade — and which aspects of your character change most.
If you're high in openness to experience — curious, creative, willing to try new things — you're likely to change more than average. Because you're open to change. You're willing to try new things. And that openness — that willingness to try new things — makes you more likely to change. Because you're open to change.
If you're high in conscientiousness — organized, disciplined, reliable — you're likely to change less than average. Because you're already organized. Already disciplined. Already reliable. And that organization — that discipline — makes you less likely to change. Because you're already organized.
If you're high in neuroticism — prone to anxiety and emotional instability — you're likely to change more than average. Because you're motivated to change. You're motivated to become more emotionally stable. And that motivation — that motivation to change — makes you more likely to change. Because you're motivated to change.
If you're low in openness to experience — you prefer the familiar, the known — you're likely to change less than average. Because you prefer the familiar. You prefer the known. And that preference — that preference for the familiar — makes you less likely to change. Because you prefer the familiar.
The Micro-Insight About Change
Here's the thing that changes how people think about character change.
Character change is not something you do. It's something that happens to you as you mature. And understanding that — understanding that change happens as you mature — is the key to understanding who you're becoming.
We think of character change as something we do. As something we try to do. But it's not. It's something that happens to us as we mature. And understanding that — understanding that change happens as we mature — is the key to understanding who we're becoming. Not just who we were.
How to Understand Who You're Becoming
Here's the practical part. Because understanding character change without knowing how to understand who you're becoming doesn't change anything.
Look back at who you were. Don't just think about who you are now. Look back at who you were ten years ago. Twenty years ago. Because looking back — looking back at who you were — is what actually allows you to see how much you've changed. Not just thinking about who you are now. Looking back.
Look for patterns. Don't just look at how you've changed. Look for patterns. Look for how you've changed in predictable ways. Because looking for patterns — looking for predictable changes — is what actually allows you to understand who you're becoming. Not just looking at how you've changed. Looking for patterns.
Look forward. Don't just look back. Look forward. Look at who you're becoming. Because looking forward — looking at who you're becoming — is what actually allows you to understand who you're becoming. Not just looking back. Looking forward.
The Deeper Truth About Character Change
Here's what I want you to understand.
Character change is not something you do. It's something that happens to you as you mature. And understanding that — understanding that change happens as you mature — is the key to understanding who you're becoming.
Character change is not random. It's predictable. And understanding these predictable changes — understanding how you're likely to change — is the key to understanding who you're becoming. Not just who you were. And understanding who you're becoming — understanding who you're becoming — is what actually allows you to live intentionally. Not just reactively.
You Are Becoming Someone (Whether You Know It or Not)
Here's what I want you to hear.
You are becoming someone. Whether you know it or not. And understanding who you're becoming — understanding who you're becoming — is what actually allows you to live intentionally. Not just reactively.
Character change is not random. It's predictable. And understanding these predictable changes — understanding how you're likely to change — is the key to understanding who you're becoming. Not just who you were. And understanding who you're becoming — understanding who you're becoming — is what actually allows you to live intentionally. Not just reactively.
If you've been wondering how much you've changed — if you want to understand the specific personality traits that shape how you change over time — the MyTraitsLab Personality Test can show you the full picture. Not to tell you who you were. But to help you see who you're becoming — and help you live intentionally, not just reactively.
