You are optimistic. The future looks bright. The project is going to work out. The relationship is going to last. The health is going to improve. The optimism feels good. The optimism also, in some quiet moments, feels suspicious. The suspicion is not paranoia. The suspicion is a form of self-knowledge, and the self-knowledge is the foundation of one of the most important psychological distinctions in modern life. The distinction is between hope and denial, and the distinction is one of the most significant predictors of whether the optimism is producing the engagement or the avoidance.
The optimism audit is the practice of examining one's own optimism to distinguish between the version that is grounded in evidence, flexibility, and engagement, and the version that is grounded in avoidance, rigidity, and denial. The two versions look similar from the outside. They are profoundly different on the inside. The audit is the foundation of the awareness, and the awareness is the foundation of the change.
What Hope Is
Hope is the optimistic orientation that is grounded in accurate perception, flexible thinking, and engaged action. Hope is not the absence of difficulty. Hope is the presence of the orientation toward the possibility of working through the difficulty. The orientation is the source of the engagement, and the engagement is the source of the well-being.
Research on hope theory by Charles Snyder and others has shown that hope is not a single trait. Hope is a combination of three components: goals (the things the person wants to achieve), pathways thinking (the ability to generate routes to the goals), and agency thinking (the motivation to use the routes). Each of the three is the source of the hope, and the combination is the source of the well-being.
Research on positive psychology by Martin Seligman has shown that the most resilient people are the ones who combine an optimistic explanatory style with a realistic assessment of the obstacles. The combination is the source of the resilience, and the resilience is the source of the well-being.
What Denial Is
Denial is the optimistic orientation that is grounded in the avoidance of difficult information, the rigid maintenance of a preferred narrative, and the disengagement from the actions that would be required to address the reality. Denial is not the absence of difficulty. Denial is the active suppression of the perception of the difficulty. The suppression is the source of the disengagement, and the disengagement is the source of the cost.
Research on denial in psychology has shown that denial is a common response to a wide range of difficult situations, including illness, loss, financial difficulty, and relationship breakdown. The denial serves a short-term protective function. The denial also produces significant long-term costs, including the failure to take the actions that would be required to address the situation.
The most common form of denial is the minimization, the tendency to treat the difficulty as smaller than it actually is. The minimization is the source of the failure to engage, and the engagement is the source of the change.
The Difference Between Hope and Denial
The difference between hope and denial is one of the most important distinctions in modern psychology, and the distinction can be made on several dimensions.
The first dimension is the engagement with the evidence. Hope engages with the evidence, including the difficult evidence. Denial avoids the difficult evidence and selectively attends to the supporting evidence. The engagement is the source of the accuracy, and the accuracy is the source of the effective action.
The second dimension is the flexibility of the belief. Hope allows the belief to be updated in light of new information. Denial rigidly maintains the belief, even in the face of significant disconfirming evidence. The flexibility is the source of the adaptation, and the adaptation is the source of the resilience.
The third dimension is the action orientation. Hope produces action, including the action of revising the goals in light of the obstacles. Denial produces the absence of action, and the absence is the source of the persistence of the difficulty.
The fourth dimension is the emotional response to the difficulty. Hope allows the person to feel the difficulty and to engage with it. Denial avoids the feeling of the difficulty, and the avoidance is the source of the disengagement.
Why Denial Is So Attractive
Denial is attractive for several reasons. The first is the short-term protection. The denial protects the person from the immediate emotional pain of the difficulty. The protection is the source of the attraction, and the attraction is the source of the persistence.
The second reason is the self-concept protection. The denial protects the person from the implication of the difficulty for the self-concept. The protection is the source of the attraction, and the attraction is the source of the persistence.
The third reason is the social comfort. The denial allows the person to maintain the optimistic front that is socially rewarded. The front is the source of the social comfort, and the comfort is the source of the persistence.
The Costs of Denial
The costs of denial are significant, and the costs are often invisible. The first cost is the cost of missed action. The person in denial is not taking the actions that would be required to address the situation. The miss is the source of the persistence of the difficulty, and the persistence is the source of the cost.
The second cost is the cost of surprise. The person in denial is not prepared for the difficulty when it actually arrives. The unpreparedness is the source of the surprise, and the surprise is the source of the cost.
The third cost is the cost of trust. The person in denial is, in a sense, betraying the people who are relying on the person to engage with the reality. The betrayal is the source of the trust loss, and the loss is the source of the relational cost.
The fourth cost is the cost of self. The person in denial is, in a sense, slowly losing contact with the reality. The loss is the source of the self erosion, and the erosion is the source of the cost.
The Optimism Audit
The optimism audit is a structured practice of examining one's own optimism to identify the components that are hope and the components that are denial. The audit is the foundation of the awareness, and the awareness is the foundation of the change.
The audit involves several questions. The first question is: what is the evidence for the optimistic belief, and what is the evidence against it? The honest answer to the question is the source of the engagement with the reality, and the engagement is the source of the change.
The second question is: what would change my mind? The answer to the question is the source of the flexibility of the belief, and the flexibility is the foundation of the hope.
The third question is: what actions am I taking, and what actions am I avoiding? The honest answer to the question is the source of the action orientation, and the orientation is the source of the change.
The fourth question is: how am I feeling about the difficulty, and am I allowing myself to feel it? The honest answer to the question is the source of the emotional engagement, and the engagement is the source of the change.
The fifth question is: what would a wise, caring friend say to me about this situation? The imagined friend is the source of the perspective that the solo brain is often unable to generate, and the perspective is the source of the change.
How to Cultivate Hope
1. Set goals that are meaningful but flexible. The goals are the foundation of the hope. The flexibility is the source of the resilience.
2. Practice pathways thinking. The ability to generate multiple routes to the goal is the foundation of the hope. The practice is the source of the change.
3. Practice agency thinking. The motivation to use the routes is the foundation of the hope. The practice is the source of the change.
4. Engage with the evidence, including the difficult evidence. The engagement is the source of the accurate perception, and the perception is the foundation of the effective action.
5. Update the beliefs in light of new information. The updating is the source of the flexibility, and the flexibility is the foundation of the hope.
6. Take action, even small action, on a regular basis. The action is the source of the agency, and the agency is the foundation of the hope.
7. Tolerate the discomfort of the difficulty. The tolerance is the source of the emotional engagement, and the engagement is the foundation of the hope.
When Optimism Is a Symptom
It is important to say clearly: sometimes the optimism is a symptom of a condition that requires professional attention. Mania, hypomania, and certain forms of depression can all present as optimism, and the optimism is the source of the cost. The honest self-inquiry is whether the optimism is the grounded, engaged version, or whether it is a symptom of something else. The honest self-inquiry is the source of the appropriate response, and the response is the foundation of the well-being.
The Takeaway
The optimism audit is one of the most important practices in modern psychological life. The audit is the source of the distinction between hope and denial, and the distinction is the foundation of the effective action. Hope is the optimistic orientation that engages with the evidence, updates the beliefs, and takes the action. Denial is the optimistic orientation that avoids the evidence, rigidly maintains the belief, and disengages from the action. The two look similar. They are profoundly different. The next time you find yourself feeling optimistic about a difficult situation, pause long enough to run the audit. The audit is the foundation of the awareness. The awareness is the foundation of the change. The change is the foundation of the more engaged, more effective, more meaningful life.
