You are the perfectionist. The perfectionism is the source of the chronic high standards, the chronic self-criticism, the chronic sense of the never-quite-good-enough. The perfectionism is also the source of the chronic self-compassion block, the chronic self-attack, and the chronic sense of the never-quite-worthy of the love that are the foundation of one of the most under-recognized, and most under-discussed, psychological phenomena in modern life. The phenomenon is the self-compassion block, and the block is the source of the chronic emotional dysregulation, the chronic somatic tension, and the chronic disconnection from the self-love that are the foundation of the most under-developed, and most under-celebrated, character traits of modern perfectionist life.
The unblocking of the self-compassion is the practice of recognizing why the perfectionism blocks the self-compassion. The unblocking is the source of the emotional regulation, the self-love, and the meaningful life that are the foundation of the more engaged, more meaningful, more deeply self-compassionate life.
What the Self-Compassion Block Is
The self-compassion block is the chronic, often unconscious, resistance to the self-compassion, the self-kindness, and the self-acceptance. The block is the source of the chronic emotional dysregulation, the chronic somatic tension, and the chronic disconnection from the self-love. The block is the source of the difficulty of the navigation.
Research on self-compassion by Kristin Neff has shown that the self-compassion is the source of the chronic well-being, the chronic resilience, and the chronic motivation. The motivation is the source of the meaningful life, and the meaningful life is the foundation of the more engaged, more meaningful, more deeply self-compassionate life.
Research on perfectionism and self-criticism by Thomas Curran and Andrew Hill has shown that the perfectionism is the source of the chronic self-criticism, and the self-criticism is the source of the chronic self-compassion block. The block is the source of the cost, and the cost is the foundation of the difficulty of the navigation.
Why the Self-Compassion Feels Impossible
The self-compassion feels impossible for several reasons. The first is the belief that the self-compassion is the weakness. The perfectionist is the source of the chronic belief that the self-compassion is the weakness, and the belief is the source of the chronic resistance. The resistance is the source of the cost, and the cost is the foundation of the difficulty of the navigation.
The second reason is the belief that the self-compassion is the laziness. The perfectionist is the source of the chronic belief that the self-compassion is the laziness, and the belief is the source of the chronic resistance. The resistance is the source of the cost, and the cost is the foundation of the difficulty of the navigation.
The third reason is the belief that the self-compassion is the entitlement. The perfectionist is the source of the chronic belief that the self-compassion is the entitlement, and the belief is the source of the chronic resistance. The resistance is the source of the cost, and the cost is the foundation of the difficulty of the navigation.
The fourth reason is the belief that the self-compassion is the failure. The perfectionist is the source of the chronic belief that the self-compassion is the failure, and the belief is the source of the chronic resistance. The resistance is the source of the cost, and the cost is the foundation of the difficulty of the navigation.
What the Unblocking Achieves
The unblocking achieves several important things. The first is the self-acceptance. The unblocking is the source of the engagement with the self-acceptance, and the engagement is the source of the meaningful life. The acceptance is the source of the growth, and the growth is the foundation of the more engaged, more meaningful, more deeply self-compassionate life.
The second is the emotional regulation. The unblocking is the source of the engagement with the emotional regulation, and the engagement is the source of the meaningful life. The regulation is the source of the growth, and the growth is the foundation of the more engaged, more meaningful, more deeply self-compassionate life.
The third is the resilience. The unblocking is the source of the engagement with the resilience, and the engagement is the source of the meaningful life. The resilience is the source of the growth, and the growth is the foundation of the more engaged, more meaningful, more deeply self-compassionate life.
The fourth is the authentic achievement. The unblocking is the source of the engagement with the authentic achievement, and the engagement is the source of the meaningful life. The achievement is the source of the growth, and the growth is the foundation of the more engaged, more meaningful, more deeply self-compassionate life.
How to Unblock the Self-Compassion
1. Notice the self-compassion block as the signal. The notice is the source of the awareness, and the awareness is the foundation of the change. The notice is the source of the engagement, and the engagement is the foundation of the navigation.
2. Reframe the self-compassion as the strength. The reframe is the source of the engagement with the self-compassion, and the engagement is the source of the meaningful life. The reframe is the source of the growth, and the growth is the foundation of the more engaged, more meaningful, more deeply self-compassionate life.
3. Start with the "small doses" of the self-compassion. The doses are the source of the engagement with the self-compassion, and the engagement is the source of the meaningful life. The doses are the source of the growth, and the growth is the foundation of the more engaged, more meaningful, more deeply self-compassionate life.
4. Use the "I would say this to a friend" exercise. The exercise is the source of the engagement with the self-compassion, and the engagement is the source of the meaningful life. The exercise is the source of the growth, and the growth is the foundation of the more engaged, more meaningful, more deeply self-compassionate life.
5. Practice the "self-compassion break" in the moments of the failure. The break is the source of the engagement with the self-compassion, and the engagement is the source of the meaningful life. The break is the source of the growth, and the growth is the foundation of the more engaged, more meaningful, more deeply self-compassionate life.
6. Be willing to be imperfect in the self-compassion practice. The willingness is the source of the engagement with the self-compassion, and the engagement is the source of the meaningful life. The willingness is the source of the growth, and the growth is the foundation of the more engaged, more meaningful, more deeply self-compassionate life.
7. Celebrate the self-compassion wins. The celebration is the source of the reinforcement, and the reinforcement is the source of the motivation. The celebration is the source of the engagement, and the engagement is the foundation of the navigation.
When the Unblocking Is the Right Move
It is important to say clearly: the unblocking is the right move for the perfectionist, the chronic self-criticism, and the chronic sense of the never-quite-good-enough. The unblocking is the wrong move when the self-criticism is the source of the medical condition, the trauma, or the clinical depression that requires the professional intervention. The honest self-inquiry is whether the self-criticism is the source of the perfectionism, or whether the self-criticism is the source of the medical condition. The first is the source of the engagement, and the second is the source of the professional attention.
The Takeaway
The unblocking of the self-compassion for the perfectionists is one of the most under-recognized, and most under-celebrated, integrations in modern perfectionist life. The integration is the source of the emotional regulation, the self-love, and the meaningful life that are the foundation of the more engaged, more meaningful, more deeply self-compassionate life. The cure is not to suppress the perfectionism. The cure is to reframe the self-compassion as the strength, to start with the small doses, and to engage with the unblocking. The next time you feel the self-compassion block, pause long enough to reframe the self-compassion, to use the friend exercise, and to engage with the unblocking. The engagement is the source of the more meaningful, more self-compassionate, more deeply authentic life.
